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How To Win Friends and influence People PDF, ePub eBook


Hot Best Seller
Title: How To Win Friends and influence People
Author: Dale Carnegie
Publisher: Published January 1st 2010 by Pragun Publications (first published October 1936)
ISBN: 9789380397030
Status : FREE Rating :
4.6 out of 5

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Dale Breckenridge Carnegie was born in 1888 in Missouri, USA and was educated at Warrensburg State Teachers College. As a salesman and aspiring actor, he traveled to New York and began teaching communications classes to adults at the YMCA. In 1912, the world famous Dale Carnegie Course was born. He authored several best-sellers, including, How to Win Friends and Influence Dale Breckenridge Carnegie was born in 1888 in Missouri, USA and was educated at Warrensburg State Teachers College. As a salesman and aspiring actor, he traveled to New York and began teaching communications classes to adults at the YMCA. In 1912, the world famous Dale Carnegie Course was born. He authored several best-sellers, including, How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Over 70 million copies of Mr. Carnegie's books have been printed and published in 38 languages. Mr. Carnegie was a prominent lecturer of his day and a sought-after counselor to world leaders. He wrote newspaper columns and had his own daily radio show

30 review for How To Win Friends and influence People

  1. 5 out of 5

    Caroline

    This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and "win friends" but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time. It This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and "win friends" but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time. It might sound like a harmless, or even attractive idea in theory, but choosing to apply it in your every day life can lead to dangerous results. Case in point: after being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn't matter that those people did have redeeming qualities - they weren't redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn't really want and, because I was so preoccupied with "winning" those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people. I suppose, for somebody who is a better judge of character, the principles outlined in this book *could* be of some value. But that's really just me trying to find something positive (using the "principles") in a book that I am still trying to UNlearn. If you want to win friends, you have to do it the hard way, by being yourself and risking rejection (and daring to do some rejection of your own, as well). And if you want to influence people the only fair way to do it is through honesty. All the rest is manipulation and pretending. Do not read this book, you'll only learn how to manipulate yourself & others. Do not read it out of fear of rejection & low self-esteem, there are better ways to gain some courage in approaching people. This will harm you in the long run. Thank you for reading this review.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Brent

    This is an incredible book. I've heard people mention it for years and years and thought the idea of it was so stupid. The way some people talked about it made it seem like it was a book for scoundrels or for socially awkward people. I didn't want to be either, so I didn't want to read it. Finally, a great friend of mine recommended it to me and I started reading it. This is a book for people. It's not about being evil or admitting you're nerdy; it's about how to get along with people. Anyone wh This is an incredible book. I've heard people mention it for years and years and thought the idea of it was so stupid. The way some people talked about it made it seem like it was a book for scoundrels or for socially awkward people. I didn't want to be either, so I didn't want to read it. Finally, a great friend of mine recommended it to me and I started reading it. This is a book for people. It's not about being evil or admitting you're nerdy; it's about how to get along with people. Anyone who ever has problems getting along with people should read this book. I know I do, but this book has completely changed my perspective. This really comes close to a life changing book. The main point of this book is that if you want to have friends and be successful, you should be nice not mean. It sounds so obvious and I thought I was doing it, but now I realize all the mean things that I've done and still do to people when I don't get along with them. As I've read this book (and I'll work hard to do this from now on) I've tried to think more about the other person's perspective when I disagree with them and it helps so much. I've already noticed a change in the way I interact with people. This is a great book. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get along with other people. It's a very humbling yet empowering book.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Jacob Collier

    This book definitely change your perception towards people around & also it teaches you a lot how you see & judge other. It's wondering that this book was inspired from this old Indian book: https://www.amazon.com/Know-Your-Wort...

  4. 5 out of 5

    Conrad

    Dale, saying people's names often when you're talking to them, Dale, doesn't make you popular, Dale, it makes you sound like a patronizing creep. This book is probably really handy when you're trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It's also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Ivan

    Three things about this book surprised me and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. One - it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they've always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc. Two - the techniques described in the book aren't duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we're admitting it to ourselves Three things about this book surprised me and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. One - it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they've always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc. Two - the techniques described in the book aren't duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we're admitting it to ourselves or not. Readers are repeatedly encouraged to develop genuine interest in others, be honest and ethical, and obey the golden rule. Three - I enjoyed it (read twice back to back) and it felt easy and natural to apply some of the ideas in my life. Shortly after reading this book, I was a little bit better at communicating and a little bit happier about my interactions with others in general.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Adina

    I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It's an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways. So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It's an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways. So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some good advice about the subject of win friends and influence people although there was a lot of filler in order to make his principle into a book. Some examples were really interesting others a bit ridiculous. One of the problems I had with the author and one I find too often in self-help books is the condescending tone, the ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved. It was an interesting read, I learn some useful skills but it isn't groundbreaking anymore in my opinion.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Paul Rhodes

    Utter dreck! Anyone who thinks this book offers important wise advice on friendship is an idiot. Dale Carnegie was nothing but a huckstering sophist, and a very repulsive one at that. For those of you who may not know, Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is a handbook on how to exploit friendship for the sake of financial and political gain. Now fans of this book (why such people are allowed to read, much less vote, I do not know) will say this book helped them overcome their shyne Utter dreck! Anyone who thinks this book offers important wise advice on friendship is an idiot. Dale Carnegie was nothing but a huckstering sophist, and a very repulsive one at that. For those of you who may not know, Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is a handbook on how to exploit friendship for the sake of financial and political gain. Now fans of this book (why such people are allowed to read, much less vote, I do not know) will say this book helped them overcome their shyness and make real friendships. But Dale Carnegie is not interested in real friendship. His only concern is to exploit friendship for financial and political gain. One need not be Einstein to know this. One need only read all the garish claims on the back of the book (I have an earlier edition than the one usually found in bookstores today) such as, say, "Increase your earning power" "(Carnegie's book will) [m]ake you a better salesman, a better executive." If the book were really about true friendship, as its many lobotomized fans insist, then one would expect the blurbs to claim that the book will make the reader a better friend, not a better salesman. A true friend cares about his friends, but a salesman cares about his profit, and if friendship come between him and his profit, then so much for friendship. Dale Carnegie's groupies are utterly oblivious to his promotion of such shameless exploitation, which is as obvious as a communal bedpan. And they are also utterly oblivious to historical facts. Had they some historical knowledge, then these sycophants-in-training surely would have read Dale Carnegie's pilpul with slightly less pollyannish gullibility. For instance, if they knew anything about the Age of the Robber Barons, they might have found Dale Carnegie's depiction of Andrew Carnegie as a man truly concerned for the lot of his fellow man a bit hard to stomach. Sure, Andrew Carnegie smiled a lot and presented a friendly appearance to the press and public, and that was enough for Dale. Dale--like all other sophists, politicians, and prostitutes--cared only for appearances, but underneath the accommodating demeanor of Andrew Carnegie was a heart as hard as the steel his factories forged. Andrew Carnegie would publicly declare his support for rights of the worker and yet let his Manager Frick hire Pinkerton Guards to massacre the union workers. Andrew Carnegie would snatch good PR with his various philanthropies but also poured much of his money into the American Eugenics Movement which managed to get laws passed all over this country that mandated the sterilization of cripples like me. American Eugenics also had a profound influence upon German Eugenics, an influence which one can see documented in the minutes of The Nuremberg Trials. I hope even Carnegie groupies are not that ignorant not to know that influence, however nice, pleasant, and smiling it may be, is bad when it leads to genocide. Yet, I suspect those who swear by this book will continue to have nothing but admiration for Dale Carnegie, whose sycophantic adulation for the ruthless rich who killed off unionized workers and funded the genocide of the weak should offend, repel, and disgust anyone with even a modicum of human thought and decency. Carnegie fans are idiots.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Ahmad Ebaid

    :قبل أن تشرع في قراءة الكتاب, هناك ملاحظات أحبذ اعتبارها في حساباتك 1- السلوكيات والنصائح الواردة لا يعتمد عليها بالكلية للحصول على أصدقاء من أقرانك, فلكي يقبلك أحدهم كصديق في علاقة طويلة المدى يجب أن تكون شخصاً ذا ثقل, ويحمل مميزات مادية مفيدة تجعله يحتاجك دائماً, وإذا فقدت هذه الميزات فستنطفئ علاقته بك تدريجياً حتى وإن لم يكن يقصد هو ذلك؛ لذا فالعمل على تنمية مهاراتك هو حجر الأساس. 2- يجب أن تبدو السلوكيات التي تنفذها بمظهر السلوكيات المخلصة, فالناس لا يحبون الرياء والمداهنة؛ فذلك يظهرك غالباً :قبل أن تشرع في قراءة الكتاب, هناك ملاحظات أحبذ اعتبارها في حساباتك 1- السلوكيات والنصائح الواردة لا يعتمد عليها بالكلية للحصول على أصدقاء من أقرانك, فلكي يقبلك أحدهم كصديق في علاقة طويلة المدى يجب أن تكون شخصاً ذا ثقل, ويحمل مميزات مادية مفيدة تجعله يحتاجك دائماً, وإذا فقدت هذه الميزات فستنطفئ علاقته بك تدريجياً حتى وإن لم يكن يقصد هو ذلك؛ لذا فالعمل على تنمية مهاراتك هو حجر الأساس. 2- يجب أن تبدو السلوكيات التي تنفذها بمظهر السلوكيات المخلصة, فالناس لا يحبون الرياء والمداهنة؛ فذلك يظهرك غالباً كنصاب يعاملهم كأغبياء, وفي أحسن الأحوال تظهر بمظهر النصاب فقط, وفي كل الأحوال سيتلاشى مجهودك المبذول على هذه السلوكيات. وبصفتي الشخصية, لي صديق يحاول دائماً تنفيذ سلوكيات كالمذكورة في الكتاب كإظهار الاهتمام بما يثير اهتمامي, ولكنه لا يفعلها بإخلاص غالباً, فيتحول الأمر إلى مدعاة للشفقة. 3- السلوكيات الواردة ليست بتعاويذ سحرية, فضلاً عن أنها معروفة وقديمة قدم الأزل, ولكن لا يستخدمها الناس عادة في أمورهم اليومية لارتفاع تكلفة الجهد المبذول فيها مقابل العائد البسيط منها نظراً لأن معظم الأشخاص الذين نقابلهم لا فائدة منهم على الإطلاق. وعندما نحتاج أحد هذه السلوكيات لتخطي ورطة مع أحد الأشخاص, تتوه الحلول مننا, وإن وجدناها فليس بمقدورنا تنفيذ ما لم نتعود على فعله تنفيذاً يبدو جيداً. وعليه, فالأعلام الوارد ذكرهم في الكتاب كعباقرة في التعامل مع الناس مثل "روزفلت", يستثمرون جهود ضخمة لتمويل شعبيتهم وسط الناس, وبهذا أصل من جديد إلى إن العبقرية هي مقدرة على الصبر/الاجتهاد. ليس لدي الصبر على كل تلك المشاق لتلقي مشاعر الناس, ومن الجيد أنه ليس لدي رغبة عميقة في استزادة مقدرتي على معاملة الناس بحكم شخصيتي الـ"INTJ-T" .. وعليه نويت استخدام الكتاب كمرجع, في حال إن تورطت في علاقة مع أحد البشر. 4-"moral high ground fags" ككل الكتب التي تتحدث عن سلوك البشر وكيفية استغلاله, لا ينصح به للسادة الـ . 5- استخدمه باعتدال, فمعظم السلوكيات تعتمد في تأثيرها على قلة تنفيذ الآخرين لها, وإذ أنت أغرقت الجميع بها, فسوف يتبدد تأثيرها ككل شيء متوفر بسهولة من حولهم مهما كان أهمية ما تقوم به لهم. خذ الماء والهواء كمثال وعبرة. *** ترجمة "عبد الله محمد الزيادي" عن "دار الندوة الجديدة" اللبنانية ترجمة جيدة جداً... ترجمة العنوان الرئيسي لـ "كيف تختار الأصدقاء" غير موفق, والعنوان الفرعي "كيف تؤثر في الناس" أكثر تعبيراً عن الكتاب. هناك ترجمات أخرى متوفرة, ولكني لم أطلع عليها. *** تماماً ككتاب "دع القلق وتعلم الحياة", يسرد كارنجي الكثير من القصص الحقيقية المسلية لتوضيح نصائحه, ولإعطاء أمثلة عملية نستطيع استغلالها في حياتنا. أذكر منهم قصتان, والأولى منهما تصرفت فيها قليلاً: "إن معظم الشبان الراغبين في الزواج لا يهمهم أن تكون الزوجة المنشودة ربة بيت من الطراز الأول بقدر ما يهمهم أن تشبع غرورهم, وتمنحهم الإحساس بالأهمية والاعتبار!" ولعل هذا هو السر في أن أكثر الفتيات المثقفات يخفقن في الحصول على الأزواج, فإنك قد تدعو الفتاة المثقفة للغداء معك , فلا تلبث أن تتركك وقد تحمست لدراسة التيارات الهامة في الفلسفة المعاصرة - مثلاً- وماذا تكون النتيجة؟ تتناول غداءها بعد ذلك بلا رفيق. ولكنك قد تدعو إلى الغداء فتاة تعمل على الآلة الكاتبة ولم تدرس قط في الجامعة, فلا تلبث أن تثبت نظرها عليك, وتقول لك: "حدثني عن نفسك" وماذا تكون النتيجة؟ سوف تشعر بالأمان في صحبتها, وسوف تقول حتماً في لأصحابك: "صحيح إنها ليست على قدر كبير من الجمال, ولكني ارتحت لها!" منذ وقت قصير, وقع صديق لي في غرام فتاة لم يلبث أن خطبها, وبعد قليل من خطبته, رغبت إليه خطيبته في أن يتعلم الرقص فاستجاب لرغبتها. قال لي وهو يروي القصة: "... والله يعلم أنني كنت في أمس الحاجة إلى دروس الرقص. كنت قد تعلمت الرقص منذ نحو عشرين سنة, فلما عدت إليه, عدت كما بدأته, وقد صارحتني المدرسة الأولى التي قصدت إليها, بهذه الحقيقة سافرة, قالت لي لي إنني على خطأ بيّن, وإنه يجب أن أنسى ما تعلمته في الماضي وأن أبدأ من جديد! ولكن هذا اقتضاني مجهوداً كبيراً, ولم يكن لدي دافع يدفعني إلى مواصلة التعليم فتركتها!. "ولعل المعلمة الثانية كذبت علي, ولكني فضلتها! قالت لي إن رقصي قديم العهد بعض الشيء, ولكن المبادئ في جوهرها صحيحة. وأكدت أنني لن ألقى عناء في تعلم بعض الخطوات الجديدة. "لقد بثت المعلمة الأولى اليأس في نفسي بتأكيدها لأخطائي, أما الثانية فقد فعلت العكس تماماً: امتدحت الشيء الوحيد الصحيح في رقصي, وهونت كثيراً من شأن أخطائي. وكانت لا تفتأ تقول لي: إن لك أذناً موسيقية .. إنك راقص موهوب. "وبرغم إيماني بأنني كنت – وسأظل – راقصاً من الدرجة الرابعة, إلا أنني كنت أتشكك أحيانا وأقول لنفسي : ربما كانت تعني ما تقول!. والواقع أنني كنت أنقدها المال بسبب ما تواليني به من تشجيع وتقدير!" *** محتويات الكتاب: (view spoiler)[ (1) (2) (3) (4) (hide spoiler)]

  9. 4 out of 5

    A.

    It's considered corny to read books like this, but that kind of cynicism is ultimately limiting and counterproductive. My dad forced me to read this book and it was one of the main things that pushed me out of my shyness and made me an amicable person.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Navin

    This is a sad book. A book that aims to turn us into manipulating individuals who would want to achieve their means through flattery and other verbal-mental tricks. Even technically, it seems to me that the ploys' in this book would never really work. Here is a quote from the book - “Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves – so This is a sad book. A book that aims to turn us into manipulating individuals who would want to achieve their means through flattery and other verbal-mental tricks. Even technically, it seems to me that the ploys' in this book would never really work. Here is a quote from the book - “Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves – so that you get - WHAT YOU WANT. Most of us read so that we are inspired, moved, even shocked or atleast entertained by stories. We also read so that we understand better and stretch the possibilities of our minds and hearts, to be better human beings. We definitely do not read to become conniving ugly creatures to be held prisoners by our greed. And come on get a grip – this is essentially a sales book.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Ahmad Sharabiani

    How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Over 15 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books. تاریخ نخستین خوانش: سال 1968 میلادی کتاب راهکارهای بسیار ساده ای را که به کار بردن آن راهکارها تاثیر بسیاری در بهبود روابط اجتماعی خواهد داشت، به خوانشگر م How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Over 15 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books. تاریخ نخستین خوانش: سال 1968 میلادی کتاب راهکارهای بسیار ساده‌ ای را که به کار بردن آن راهکارها تاثیر بسیاری در بهبود روابط اجتماعی خواهد داشت، به خوانشگر معرفی می‌کند. آئین دوست‌یابی یا عنوان اصلی: چگونه می‌توان دوست یافت و در مردم نفوذ کرد؛ کتابی در سبک «کمک به خود» نوشتهٔ دیل کارنگی است. این کتاب یکی از نخستین و بهترین کتاب‌های «کمک به خود» است، نخستین چاپ این کتاب در سال 1936 میلادی بوده است. مترجمان بسیاری تا کنون کتاب را به فارسی ترجمه کرده‌ اند که بیشتر آنها همین عنوان مختصر: «آئین دوست یابی» را برای کتاب برگزیده اند. ا. شربیانی

  12. 5 out of 5

    Roy Lotz

    When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. Dale Carnegie is a quintessentially American type. He is like George F. Babbitt come to life—except considerably smarter. And here he presents us with the Bible for the American secular religion: capitalism with a smile. In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interacti When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. Dale Carnegie is a quintessentially American type. He is like George F. Babbitt come to life—except considerably smarter. And here he presents us with the Bible for the American secular religion: capitalism with a smile. In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interaction. The tenets of this philosophy are very simple. People are selfish, prideful, and sensitive creatures. To get along with people you need to direct your actions towards their egos. To make people like you, compliment them, talk in terms of their wants, make them feel important, smile big, and remember their name. If you want to persuade somebody, don’t argue, and never contradict them; instead, be friendly, emphasize the things you agree on, get them to do most of the talking, and let them take credit for every bright idea. The most common criticism lodged at this book is that it teaches manipulation, not genuine friendship. Well, I agree that this book doesn’t teach how to achieve genuine intimacy with people. A real friendship requires some self-expression, and self-expression is not part of Carnegie’s system. As another reviewer points out, if you use this mindset to try to get real friends, you’ll end up in highly unsatisfying relationships. Good friends aren't like difficult customers; they are people you can argue with and vent to, people who you don't have to impress. Nevertheless, I think it’s not accurate to say that Carnegie is teaching manipulation. Manipulation is when you get somebody to do something against their own interests; but Carnegie’s whole system is directed towards getting others to see that their self-interest is aligned with yours. This is what I meant by calling him the prophet of “capitalism with a smile,” since his philosophy is built on the notion that, most of the time, people can do business with each other that is mutually beneficial. He never advocates being duplicitous: “Let me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.” Maybe what puts people off is his somewhat cynical view of human nature. He sees people as inherently selfish creatures who are obsessed with their own wants; egotists with a fragile sense of self-esteem: “People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon and after dinner.” Well, maybe it's just because I am an American, but this conception of human nature feels quite accurate to me. Even the nicest people are absorbed with their own desires, troubles, and opinions. Indeed, the only reason that it’s easy to forget that other people are preoccupied with their own priorities is because we are so preoccupied with our own that it’s hard to imagine anyone thinks otherwise. The other day, for example, I ran into my neighbor, a wonderfully nice woman, who immediately proceeded to unload all her recent troubles on me while scarcely asking me a single question. This isn’t because she is bad or selfish, but because she’s human and wanted a listening ear. I don’t see anything wrong with it. In any case, I think this book is worth reading just for its historical value. As one of the first and most successful examples of the self-help genre, it is an illuminating document. Already in this book, we have what I call “Self-Help Miracle Stories”—you know, the stories about somebody applying the lessons from this book and achieving a complete life turnaround. Although the author always insists the stories are real, the effect is often comical: “Jim applied this lesson, and his customer was so happy he named his first-born son after him!” “Rebecca impressed her boss so much that he wrote her a check for one million dollars on the spot!” “Frank did such a good job at the meeting that one of his clients bought him a Ferrari, and another one offered him his daughter in marriage!” (These are only slight exaggerations.) Because of this book’s age, the writing is quaint and charming. Take, for example, this piece of advice on how to get the most out of the book: “Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.” A lively game! How utterly delightful. Probably this book would be far more effective if Carnegie included some exercises instead of focusing on anecdotes. But then again, it would be far less enjoyable reading in that case, since the anecdotes are told with such verve and pep (to quote Babbitt). And I think we could all use a little more pep in our lives.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Neja

    This book is a life changer ! Really, I'm not making this up. This was exactly what I needed. Some things that are described in this book I realized before reading this book, but there were a lot of things I never thought about myself but are so true. I don't like conflicts and I found a lot of tips in this book about this topic..so how not to be in fights with people. Yaaay, my zen is safe! =)

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jan-Maat

    Reading between the lines and paying attention to the biographical details you realise that Carnegie never was a successful salesman himself. Success only came late in life when he was teaching an evening school class on the topic of how to win friends and influence people. His students would share their stories about changes in thinking or attitude which had changed their lives, these then made their way in to the book. Once the book was published readers would send in their own stories which w Reading between the lines and paying attention to the biographical details you realise that Carnegie never was a successful salesman himself. Success only came late in life when he was teaching an evening school class on the topic of how to win friends and influence people. His students would share their stories about changes in thinking or attitude which had changed their lives, these then made their way in to the book. Once the book was published readers would send in their own stories which were added to later editions. As a result the book is a collection of anecdotes, many of which have people changing their circumstances or changing their lives by changing the way they thought, but all the same you think that the unending pile of washing up featured in one story always remains an unending pile of washing up whether you enjoy it, despise it, value it or feel oppressed by it. Still, the book keys into a timeless message that you may not be able to change reality, but you can certainly change the way you think about it(view spoiler)[ although you could smash the plates I suppose (hide spoiler)] . On the sinister side this is a book that celebrates positive thinking, which is to say that it ignores a realistic appraisal of the world in favour of having your cake and eating it, on one level this is a fairly harmless book on another it tends towards The Secret and the belief that others and oneself are to blame if you die when a ferry sinks, or if you are persecuted, or if you develop cancer because plainly such things only happen because you weren't positive enough . Barbara Ehrenreich discusses this all very nicely in Smile or Die. It is only a short book and won't harm you if you give it a read, but despite the title doesn't have a lot of advice on how to win friends or influence people. A good book to lend to people with a big smile as they will suspect that you are trying to win their friendship and/or influence them the beerfree way.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Viraj

    Overall: A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends. TEXT DELETED 105 SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. PRINCIPLE Overall: A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends. TEXT DELETED 105 SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. PRINCIPLE 2: Smile PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely. 110 You cannot win an argument Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle. Don’t forget this lesson! I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument—and that is to avoid it. You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will always resent your triumph and “a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still…” 112 Which would you rather have, an academic theatrical victory or a person’s good will? You can seldom have both. Buddha said, “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,” and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint. Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cute the bite. 114 How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument: 1. Welcome the disagreement: Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake. 2. Distrust your first instinctive impressions: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not at your best. 3. Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. 4. Listen first; Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend, or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding. 5. Look for areas of agreement: When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree. 6. Be honest: Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness. 7. Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully: and mean it! Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.” 8. Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to adisagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends. 9. Postpone actions to give both sides time to think through the problem: Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear to preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions. Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, what the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me? PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. MORE LATER...

  16. 4 out of 5

    Michael Finocchiaro

    This was really the world's first self-help book and undoubtedly helped many people build their self-esteem. It is easy to read and its tenants are easy to follow. The one criticism that many have justly laid on it is the feeling that you are manipulating people into being your friends or accomplices (thus the "win" in the title). As such, the techniques work with a subpopulation of people you run into over the span of your life nut certainly not all of them. And true friendships are about depth This was really the world's first self-help book and undoubtedly helped many people build their self-esteem. It is easy to read and its tenants are easy to follow. The one criticism that many have justly laid on it is the feeling that you are manipulating people into being your friends or accomplices (thus the "win" in the title). As such, the techniques work with a subpopulation of people you run into over the span of your life nut certainly not all of them. And true friendships are about depth and mutual respect so no techniques are required. A more appropriate use of the book is how to behave and fit in in corporate America and for that, other than losing the tie and the hat, manners and ambitions have not changed so much for the book to become irrelevant. I prefer Getting Things Done personally.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Catherine

    This book is a guide to life. I think several people should be required to read this book at least once. Teachers, emotional teenagers, employers, employees, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, politicians etc... I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believe This book is a guide to life. I think several people should be required to read this book at least once. Teachers, emotional teenagers, employers, employees, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, politicians etc... I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believed that my ability to effectively communicate and work with other people improved exponentially through reading this book and putting what I learned into action. I love this book and am going to require that my children read it before they get a job, a drivers' license, or a date.

  18. 4 out of 5

    مريم عادل

    خرجت منه ببعض النصائح العملية الجيدة، لكنه سطحي في بعض أقسامه ومحتواه مألوف إلى حد كبير

  19. 4 out of 5

    Cathy Carpenter

    This is the most boring, tedious, inane book I've ever read. It is a total of 236 pages but the essence could be boiled down to 12 at most. Every chapter, he has one point summarized in a neat box at the end. I skimmed the rest. He gives you six examples when one or two would do. He deliberately repeats himself. He wastes the readers' time. Do yourself a favor and just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.

  20. 5 out of 5

    James

    Why did I read this book? We’ve all heard of it. But none of us have ever really read it. And I know why. It was originally published in 1936. How can it possibly be relevant in 2009? Plus these types of advice, self-help, new-agey textbooks reek of banal, trite, clichéd, stereotypical drivel. We’re too good for that. They seem a little cheesy at least. They’re all like The Secret, right? We don’t want to sip on watered down hotel iced tea and listen to Zig Ziglar. We want to take a toke of a high- Why did I read this book? We’ve all heard of it. But none of us have ever really read it. And I know why. It was originally published in 1936. How can it possibly be relevant in 2009? Plus these types of advice, self-help, new-agey textbooks reek of banal, trite, clichéd, stereotypical drivel. We’re too good for that. They seem a little cheesy at least. They’re all like The Secret, right? We don’t want to sip on watered down hotel iced tea and listen to Zig Ziglar. We want to take a toke of a high-grade sativa strain and listen to some Creedence tapes! Regardless of my skepticism and cynicism, I found How to Win Friends and Influence People to be extremely applicable and relevant. First of all, a note on the title: “How to Win Friends” is not accurate. It’s not at all about winning friends in the sense that we modern youths would consider a friend. Carnegie seems “how to win friends” to mean the “accumulation of calculated, beneficial relationships.” I feel very strongly that “friends” are the people we can be dicks to, the people we can get drunk with, yell at, act stupid, and not have to worry about the third of six ways to make people like you (remember their name). Everyone else? Everyone else you’re actually nice to (bosses, co-workers, certain family members, people you pass on the street) are not friends. Friends are the people you can tell to fuck off and they’ll still drive you to the airport at 6am the next day. This book is how to deal with everyone else with seemingly-obvious principles such as smile, be a good listener, talk in terms of other people’s interests, and make the other person feel important. So friends, not so much. But how to influence people, yes. Carnegie’s seminal work is packed full of anecdotal evidence illuminating the principle of each chapter and reinforced with a healthy peppering of Emerson quotes: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” Though written in 1936, HTWFAIF is refreshingly relevant in a modern age marked by the dichotomy between incredible scientific accomplishments, brilliant discoveries, understanding, knowledge, curiosity, but yet a stunted ability to talk and peacefully coexist with those we disagree. Take, for instance, Carnegie’s encouragement to dramatize your intentions in order for them to be recognized and accepted: “This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.” And on the eighth day, God created cable news. Carnegie thwarts our skepticism about the nobility of his intentions and promises that he is no self-help scammer, a Kevin Trudeau, Carnegie promises, he is not: “The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.” And for the most part, I have to agree with Carnegie. I like this book. Its advice and suggestions are totally useful and effective. We tend to consider ourselves living in grim times, what with the wars, crumbling economy, job losses, and uncertain future, why not have a little possitivity and engaged enthusiasm for our fellow man? And Carnegie even foretold a danger in our current time. He warns us of Obama: “The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.” Uh oh.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Sheri

    Easy to understand advice for building and improving positive and successful relationships with people in all areas of your life. Not a book per se for making friends, although it certainly can be used that way (with a grain of salt perhaps), but more directly a book that promotes good communication, kindness, and the social skills to foster healthy and productive working relationships. I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie’s advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to t Easy to understand advice for building and improving positive and successful relationships with people in all areas of your life. Not a book per se for making friends, although it certainly can be used that way (with a grain of salt perhaps), but more directly a book that promotes good communication, kindness, and the social skills to foster healthy and productive working relationships. I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie’s advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to truly gain from this book. Go into it with a reflective approach and a genuine and concentrated effort to gain wisdom and you will be rewarded with the insights to achieve the goodwill of others as well as solid and lasting relationships.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Roya

    As most of you know this is not the type of book I normally reach for, so it should be no surprise that my dad recommended it. He's a huge fan, so for whatever reason I decided to give it a shot. This is by no means a bad book, but since we're on the topic, I'll mention the cons first. I skimmed through the latter half of this book today. The first half took me over a month. This isn't boring per se, I just happen to have the attention span of your average Millennial. I have the worst patience ( As most of you know this is not the type of book I normally reach for, so it should be no surprise that my dad recommended it. He's a huge fan, so for whatever reason I decided to give it a shot. This is by no means a bad book, but since we're on the topic, I'll mention the cons first. I skimmed through the latter half of this book today. The first half took me over a month. This isn't boring per se, I just happen to have the attention span of your average Millennial. I have the worst patience (as in non-existent) to boot. If I'm not constantly entertained by something and it takes longer than ten seconds, I get irritable. This book was full of real life examples. Whenever you thought it would finish, another would come. A lot of the principles are obvious, but let's be honest. Am I going to apply any of them to my life? Nope. The thing is, I don't want to win friends and influence people. I want to avoid people and take long solitary walks. I don't want to influence anyone because I am a bad influence. My tactic for gaining friends is very simple. Stage 1: Hiss and moan when anyone shows interest in you, but silently be flattered. Never show interest in anyone. That's antisocial suicide. Stage 2: Go into asshole mode - make snide remarks, but be nice enough so the person will let you keep making snide remarks. Stage 3: Have no tact or diplomacy because that means you're lying and possibly weak. Stage 4: Finally decide you may like them and go into nice-but-hyper-and-distracted mode. NB, this does not occur during shark week. Stage 5: Fluctuate constantly and be a burden forever. Cut ties with anyone who slightly irritates you because you believe in minimalism in all things. This method works wonders and leaves me nearly friendless. How I influence people is slightly more corrupt so I won't go into that. In the end there's not many wonderful things I can say about this book. Still, I don't feel like it's bad. It's just not for me personally.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Daron

    Sometimes I felt this book was a bit too . . . "used-car-salesmanshippy". There are some good ideas in it, but there are also some things which felt like they were extremely disingenuous. I don't like FAKE people. There are some ideas in here which are quite fake.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Marks54

    This book presents one of the classic statements of popular psychology oriented around positive self-image, self reliance, and cooperative relationships with others. It is one of the most popular and influential books of its type ever and provided the foundations for contemporary self-help celebrities, such as Oprah Winfrey, as well as much of current motivational and organizational psychology that one finds in current business school curricula. What to make of it? I tend to side with the critics This book presents one of the classic statements of popular psychology oriented around positive self-image, self reliance, and cooperative relationships with others. It is one of the most popular and influential books of its type ever and provided the foundations for contemporary self-help celebrities, such as Oprah Winfrey, as well as much of current motivational and organizational psychology that one finds in current business school curricula. What to make of it? I tend to side with the critics, who are numerous. It is difficult to argue with the basic points of the book, taken at a surface level. Most people enjoy being respected, agreed with, and successful. Confidence and self-reliance are no doubt important personal characteristics in personal success. Many people do not enjoy conflict or being disagreed with and would prefer instead cooperative relations with others. OK, but so what? The problem comes once it is realized that Carnegie is highlighting an ambivalence that is inherent in many of our social relationships. On the one hand, we can interact with people on their own terms and without expectations of obligations, duties, or norms of reciprocity. We can deal with and respect people as they are. On the other hand, however, much of what we do in social life involves either trying to accomplish something through other people or having other people trying to use us to accomplish something of importance to them. In trying to balance these two aspects of social relations, most of us become aware of the need to balance. We do not usually treat commercial relationships as close friends. We do not draw up elaborate performance-based contracts with loved ones such as family members. The problem is that people who expect to be treated as independent persons do not appreciate being used by others for some personal end. It is conceptually difficult to see how someone can be both taken authentically and respected as a person while at the same time being viewed as an agent for someone else. Family members and loved ones do not like to be used. Commercial partners do not appreciate being treated as friends when more immediate personal goals were the basis for interactions. Many adults learn to balance these differing perspectives towards others. Sometimes we treat others at arms length while at other times friendships can develop. Carnegie's classic work calls on the reader to both treat people on their own terms and also to attempt to influence them to get their cooperation in attaining one's objectives. Without more specification of how and where to balance, however, the book becomes a more cynical effort to redefine the problem of positive social relations in the form of a solution -- in order to influence people and get your way, treat them authentically. The rub, of course, is how to go about doing this. It is akin to arguing that the solution to poverty is easy -- just get some money! The faux sincerity and false positivity in the service of influencing others come across as phony and manipulative after a while. This recalls another old maxim - if something seems to good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. The oversimplified examples and testimonials also get old in a hurry. The reduction of large business enterprises and their managers to a series of positive work interactions with employees is simplistic at well. The details matter, individual skills matter, industry structures matter, history matters. It is nice to imagine that a positive attitude can conquer all and bring one riches. That lets a lot of other factors off the hook for explaining success or failure. But wishing it is so does not make it so. The more I read it, the more it sounds like a text on manipulation and less like an industrial manual.

  25. 5 out of 5

    11811 (Eleven)

    This was about two things that don't interest me. At the time, I picked it up for the business perspective but I don't think I ever finished it. ***** 2/5/2017 That sounds so anti-social I want to briefly annotate. I favor an alternative philosophy of being genuine. You will likely yield fewer friends of higher quality and perhaps be less successful but I think it will ultimately result in a higher quality of life. Other than that, this book does have practical advice on business etiquette.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Keertana

    Every week for the past seven years my father has diligently asked me--without fail--whether or not I had finally read this book. How to Win Friends & Influence People changed my father's life when he first read it, back during the 1970s, and as such he's wanted me to read it as well. I have three copies of this book in my house--the first an aqua paperback my father originally bought for me, the second the very same paperback my father re-bought for me when in a fit of rebellion I told him Every week for the past seven years my father has diligently asked me--without fail--whether or not I had finally read this book. How to Win Friends & Influence People changed my father's life when he first read it, back during the 1970s, and as such he's wanted me to read it as well. I have three copies of this book in my house--the first an aqua paperback my father originally bought for me, the second the very same paperback my father re-bought for me when in a fit of rebellion I told him I'd lost the first copy, and the third my father's own disheveled edition he brought back from India. If your parents have ever shoved anything down your throat, you can probably understand why it took me seven years to finally pick up this volume. Even now, I've only read it under the threat that my father wouldn't pay my college tuition bills for the fall semester unless I would read and discuss it with him before the payment deadline. Lo and behold, Dale Carnegie's non-fiction piece finally made it into my hands. Admittedly, this isn't a bad book. It shares useful pieces of advice with plenty of support to back up its claims. Only, in my eyes, I don't believe that each and every individual can truly put Carnegie's advice into effect. Certain tid-bits, such as listening to others or offering genuine praise, can definitely be employed by all but others, such as manipulating a situation so that the other person believes your idea is really his or her own, are much harder. We've all met charismatic and charming people who can take advantage of any situation seamlessly. It isn't a learned skill, but rather an innate one. Thus, having read How to Win Friends & Influence People I truly cannot influence people unless I find myself in the same exact situations outlined by Carnegie. Thrown into another one, I fear I'd sink and find myself influenced instead. Winning friends isn't overly difficult, in my opinion. Much of what Carnegie writes are valuable stepping stones I've picked up over the course of my two years blogging online. I offer genuine praise when I enjoy a blog post, I take the time to read--or "listen"--to what others have to say, I use their name when commenting because it builds that personal connection. Consequently, I don't find this book to be particularly helpful. When it comes to winning friends, I think we all undergo certain trajectories in life where we make genuine friends and others where we don't, but we learn from those experiences to know the advice Carnegie puts into chapters. (I also dislike the phrase "winning" friends...) So, the first part of this book was useless, the second part--"influence people"--isn't as helpful as it should be and the last part, leadership attributes, are yet again qualities I don't think can be completely taught. Carnegie speaks of traits a good leader possesses, but oftentimes the difficulty doesn't lie in being a good leader but rather in becoming a leader in the first place. Perhaps I am overly critical of this book considering my past experiences with it, but I will not deny that, in the right hands, this book is certainly moving. In today's day and age, with the internet altering our perception of face-to-face interactions, this volume may be even more significant to individuals who cannot cease texting and are hooked onto technology. For others, though, this book is merely repetitive (seriously, so many of the same pieces of advice are repeated in different phrases throughout the novel) and rather dull.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Jared

    At the end of the Great Depression, Dale Carnegie wrote one of the benchmark self-help books of American literary history. He encapsulated the formula to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” in the midst of a market downturn, to put it mildly. His title, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was probably used to win and influence book sales rather than cleverly and accurately describe the content of his book. Simply, it is a misnomer. With chapters on considerate social intercourse and since At the end of the Great Depression, Dale Carnegie wrote one of the benchmark self-help books of American literary history. He encapsulated the formula to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” in the midst of a market downturn, to put it mildly. His title, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was probably used to win and influence book sales rather than cleverly and accurately describe the content of his book. Simply, it is a misnomer. With chapters on considerate social intercourse and sincerely understanding the opponent’s point of view, he is a herald of the golden rule. But Carnegie gives you a 10 step program to follow (the Ten Commandments must have been too vague). I guess the whole idea is that when you are agreeable, intellectual, considerate, proper, quick, thoughtful and strong, people will go out of their way to be nice to you and do you favors. That social axiom is my particular beef with self-help books in general. But of all self-help authors, Carnegie outlines it fairly and motivationally. He must have been a courageously dynamic speaker—he sold his seminars for a thousand a pop, back then! But with uninterrupted sales since the late 30s and over 15 million copies sold worldwide, Carnegie’s book is well worth the read…or the skim.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Huyền Trang

    Cuốn sách mình ghét nhất, ghét từ nội dung đến cách người ta ca tụng nó Chỉ là dạy cách khai thác tình bạn để phục vụ cho lợi ích của bản thân.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kendel Christensen

    Save the gospel itself, and my mission president, this book has been the single most influential thing in my life. Insightful? Yes. Timeless, Absolutely. But for someone who had no social skills to speak of until his mission? Transformative. Here are just a FEW of the nuggets in this amazing book: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” (Emerson, As quoted by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 31) “You will never get into trouble by admitting t Save the gospel itself, and my mission president, this book has been the single most influential thing in my life. Insightful? Yes. Timeless, Absolutely. But for someone who had no social skills to speak of until his mission? Transformative. Here are just a FEW of the nuggets in this amazing book: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” (Emerson, As quoted by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 31) “You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will . . . inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open . . . as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.” (Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 125) “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. “‘A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’” “Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return” “There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.” (Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 138) But my #1, favorite principle from this book is DEFINITELY: ‘If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.’ “That is so simple, so obvious . . . yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90 percent of the time.” (Henry Ford, then Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 37)

  30. 5 out of 5

    booklady

    Re-read (or rather re-listened to) this, as I promised myself I was going to do when I got it last year. I really think the title is misleading. It should be something like, How to Have Healthier, Happier and More Positive Relationships with People. This time I actually got to put some of the principles of this book into practice when tutoring an unwilling 7th grader. Receiving D's and F's and reading at 3rd grade level, "M" is not unintelligent. She is just one (of the many) child(ren) pushed t Re-read (or rather re-listened to) this, as I promised myself I was going to do when I got it last year. I really think the title is misleading. It should be something like, How to Have Healthier, Happier and More Positive Relationships with People. This time I actually got to put some of the principles of this book into practice when tutoring an unwilling 7th grader. Receiving D's and F's and reading at 3rd grade level, "M" is not unintelligent. She is just one (of the many) child(ren) pushed through the system ready or not. Anyway, when M failed to respond to my charming personality, I realized that I needed to find what interested and motivated her. Ever since, we have been gradually building a relationship based on who she is, what she wants, and how I can help her. Admittedly I started at a very low level (candy for good performance!) but it got her attention and we are slowly making progress, little by little each week. Anyway, she at least talks to me now and doesn't hide behind her long hair anymore. This last week I challenged her to show me her first test or quiz, in any class, above 80% and promised an unspecified reward. Thank you Mr. Carnegie! <><><><><><> Recently a good friend and colleague told me how much this book helped her and I remembered how much I enjoyed it when I first read it (years ago). As I could hardly remember any specifics from that distant time—only the overall favorable impression—I learned a great deal from this reread. The author and my friend both recommend returning to the principles of this book at least once @ year. Based on my own desire to have happy and positive human relations I agree this is a worthwhile book. I hope to make reading/listening to it something I do every January. We all need to get along and this book is chock full of helpful ideas for improving all of our relations with others. It isn't about using other people to get what we want, except insofar as we learn how to achieve happy, loving relationship(s), mutual respect and peaceful homes/workplaces. Highly recommended!

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