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Čar samozavesti

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Največja nevarnost, s katero se srečujemo v osebnem in poslovnem življenju je naš strah. Bojimo se začetkov in tistega, kar bi se zgodilo na koncu. Bojimo se sprememb ali tega, da bi »obtičali«. Bojimo se uspehov in prav tako porazov. Bojimo se življenja in prav tako smrti. Namesto da bi leteli kot na orlovih krilih, se zdi, da smo na strmi poti čez goro, pri tem pa nosimo Največja nevarnost, s katero se srečujemo v osebnem in poslovnem življenju je naš strah. Bojimo se začetkov in tistega, kar bi se zgodilo na koncu. Bojimo se sprememb ali tega, da bi »obtičali«. Bojimo se uspehov in prav tako porazov. Bojimo se življenja in prav tako smrti. Namesto da bi leteli kot na orlovih krilih, se zdi, da smo na strmi poti čez goro, pri tem pa nosimo dva kovčka in lubenico. Ponujene tehnike nam bodo pomagale, da bomo storili tisto, česar smo se vedno bali, ustvarili pravilni miselni model, ki si ga postavimo pred točko odločitve in korake, ki naj ...


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Največja nevarnost, s katero se srečujemo v osebnem in poslovnem življenju je naš strah. Bojimo se začetkov in tistega, kar bi se zgodilo na koncu. Bojimo se sprememb ali tega, da bi »obtičali«. Bojimo se uspehov in prav tako porazov. Bojimo se življenja in prav tako smrti. Namesto da bi leteli kot na orlovih krilih, se zdi, da smo na strmi poti čez goro, pri tem pa nosimo Največja nevarnost, s katero se srečujemo v osebnem in poslovnem življenju je naš strah. Bojimo se začetkov in tistega, kar bi se zgodilo na koncu. Bojimo se sprememb ali tega, da bi »obtičali«. Bojimo se uspehov in prav tako porazov. Bojimo se življenja in prav tako smrti. Namesto da bi leteli kot na orlovih krilih, se zdi, da smo na strmi poti čez goro, pri tem pa nosimo dva kovčka in lubenico. Ponujene tehnike nam bodo pomagale, da bomo storili tisto, česar smo se vedno bali, ustvarili pravilni miselni model, ki si ga postavimo pred točko odločitve in korake, ki naj ...

30 review for Čar samozavesti

  1. 5 out of 5

    Katya Kean

    I was afraid to leave this review, but I did it anyway. Kidding. Really, though, this book is probably really important for some people. Women, especially. Women leaving relationships, I'd imagine. The first two chapters are pretty neat. They highlight an important truth that you can't wait for the fear to go away before you do something. I know that this book influenced a lot of other books I've liked. The 3 stars instead of 4 or 5 is partially because of sentences like these: [This] "Higher Self i I was afraid to leave this review, but I did it anyway. Kidding. Really, though, this book is probably really important for some people. Women, especially. Women leaving relationships, I'd imagine. The first two chapters are pretty neat. They highlight an important truth that you can't wait for the fear to go away before you do something. I know that this book influenced a lot of other books I've liked. The 3 stars instead of 4 or 5 is partially because of sentences like these: [This] "Higher Self is capable of a high degree of sensitivity and attunement to a harmonious flow within the universe." I just have a hard time reading sentences like that, sober. And actually I never finished the last chapter, largely because the above sentence was in the beginning of it, and I have a lot of other things to read. I was afraid to return the book unfinished, but I did it anyway. So, I guess it worked.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Tommy

    A girlfriend in grad school gave me this book, shortly before we parted ways, in fact. It was a real eye-opener to me that I lived much of my life hovering around the perimeter of the pool rather than jumping in with both feet. Most eye-opening for me, though, was it was the first time I had been taught that fear was fine - embrace it, don't dodge it. Then, walk through the fire anyway. I'm not saying I turned into Russell Crowe from "Gladiator" because of it. I'm still more Woody Allen from "Ann A girlfriend in grad school gave me this book, shortly before we parted ways, in fact. It was a real eye-opener to me that I lived much of my life hovering around the perimeter of the pool rather than jumping in with both feet. Most eye-opening for me, though, was it was the first time I had been taught that fear was fine - embrace it, don't dodge it. Then, walk through the fire anyway. I'm not saying I turned into Russell Crowe from "Gladiator" because of it. I'm still more Woody Allen from "Annie Hall", but the book did fuel me toward some braver choices in life, and I think it's a great read - not too clinical, not too esoteric - just good guidance through learning to live with the beast that resides in everyone's anxiety closet.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Greg Stearns

    The book starts off with a pretty decent premise which is entirely summed up in the title. Things will always be scary until you master them, then there will be something new to be afraid of so instead of eliminating your fear you should be working on pushing through. There are some decent ideas and suggestions in the first couple chapters, but it goes downhill for the rest of the book. Between the constant ads for her other products (Inspirational Audios, books of affirmations, etc) and the unaba The book starts off with a pretty decent premise which is entirely summed up in the title. Things will always be scary until you master them, then there will be something new to be afraid of so instead of eliminating your fear you should be working on pushing through. There are some decent ideas and suggestions in the first couple chapters, but it goes downhill for the rest of the book. Between the constant ads for her other products (Inspirational Audios, books of affirmations, etc) and the unabashed brute-force self-brainwashing there are tidbits of insight wrapped thickly in late 80s psychospiritual nonsense. "Saying 'Yes' to your Universe." Ok, I agree: you should accept the fact that no matter what happens to you, you always have the next move. But it was enough that I just couldn't finish reading last chapter. It's about intuition, and after going through Pragmatic Thinking and Learning: Refactor Your Wetware and having a solid understanding of my brain's L and R modes there was a great deal of eye rolling. In fact, she stopped just shy of making a mini version of The Secret. I don't think this book deserves 1 star, as it does make some good points. If you really don't mind self acutalization being put in terms of magic and mystery you can probably take this book at face value. But if you value reason I would suggest reading the first 3 chapters in a book store and start building the skill of Doing it Anyway ®.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Rori Rischak

    Man. How do you rate a book that steadily devolves from five stars down to one star? This starts out as a five star book. The first few chapters of this book have probably altered my world view permanently. Here's the gist of what really hit home for me: At the heart of every fear we have is one single fear: "I can't handle it." This is an absolute revelation, at least to me, because it means that there is one reliable (though still not easy) formula to be used for overcoming fear: convince yourse Man. How do you rate a book that steadily devolves from five stars down to one star? This starts out as a five star book. The first few chapters of this book have probably altered my world view permanently. Here's the gist of what really hit home for me: At the heart of every fear we have is one single fear: "I can't handle it." This is an absolute revelation, at least to me, because it means that there is one reliable (though still not easy) formula to be used for overcoming fear: convince yourself that you can handle it. She goes on to explain that the more we do things we're afraid of, thus proving to ourselves that we CAN handle danger, uncertainty, loss, loneliness, etc., the more we can feel confident that we will be able to handle similar experiences in the future. In other words, facing our fears is something we can practice and get better at, even if we can never completely obliterate fear from our lives. She goes on to talk about decision making. Decision making often induces fear because we're scared that if we make the wrong decision it can have disastrous consequences. She suggests that instead of thinking of a decision in terms of a "right choice" and a "wrong choice," we think of them simply as different choices, and that with the right attitude, we can experience growth and fulfillment in our lives regardless of which choice we make. She points out how even in horrible circumstances (losing a job, being diagnosed with cancer, losing a loved one), we are given tremendous opportunities to experience personal growth, and it gives us confidence to emerge triumphant from difficult circumstances. All great, great advice that I will definitely take to heart. She then goes on to talk about positive affirmations, achieving balance in life, choosing to love those who we feel have wronged us. This is where the book started to take a turn for the worse. I actually agreed with a lot of what she was saying. I don't deny that it's good to surround yourself with supportive people. I agree that it's good to identify goals in our lives and work towards them. But ... read the summary of this book: "Are you afraid of making decisions . . . asking your boss for a raise . . . leaving an unfulfilling relationship . . . facing the future? Whatever your fear, here is your chance to push through it once and for all. In this enduring guide to self-empowerment, Dr. Susan Jeffers inspires us with dynamic techniques and profound concepts that have helped countless people grab hold of their fears and move forward with their lives." Around Chapter 3 (only 15% into the book!), Jeffers starts veering pretty far away from the subject of facing your fears. A book should not be marketed as "Learn to face your fears!" if the majority of the book is only tangentially related to that subject. And then there was chapter 11. Allow me to post an excerpt from chapter 11: "I believe that what all of us are really searching for is this divine essence within ourselves. When we are far from our Higher Self, we feel what Roberto Assagioli has so aptly called 'Divine Homesickness.' When you are feeling this sense of being lost, or off course, the thing to do to find your way home again is simply to use the tools that will align you with your Higher Self--and thus allow the good feelings to flow once again." This is the point at which, in my mind, the book became a one star book. In summary, I think this book idea would have made an excellent essay or pamphlet. The first two chapters were invaluable. The rest were filler.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Jj873

    Having lived most of my life with debilitating Panic Disorder (google it if you're curious) this book has done more to put me in charge of my life than all the years of medications, therapy, and all the other self-help books I've read combined. I encountered this book at the worst point in my mental health struggle (being nearly housebound by agoraphobia - again, google if needed) and truly found it to be a sanity saver! If it has helped me pull myself back from the brink of desolation too deep an Having lived most of my life with debilitating Panic Disorder (google it if you're curious) this book has done more to put me in charge of my life than all the years of medications, therapy, and all the other self-help books I've read combined. I encountered this book at the worst point in my mental health struggle (being nearly housebound by agoraphobia - again, google if needed) and truly found it to be a sanity saver! If it has helped me pull myself back from the brink of desolation too deep and dark to put into words, then surely it will do amazing things for those struggling with the typical fears that all of us face on this journey we share.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Moira

    "Should be required reading for every person who can read," says Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul) and I concur. Jeffers has a PhD in Psychology, and her book is full of inspiring calls to action and powerful, accessible techniques to help one take charge of one's life. There are many practical, simple (although not necessarily easy) things one can do to confront fear. Jeffers suggests ways to take small steps, and then what was scary isn't as much, as you gain experience.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Alexandra

    I finished reading this book 2 weeks ago, and feel compelled to review it. A few short months ago i took the steps needed to change my life for the better. I was not happy living how i was, i hated my body, i hated myself, all because i was scared of the truth. That truth is that i am transgender. I admitted to myself that i needed to seek medical help, to rectify my situation, which includes taking hormones and having gender reassignment surgery in the future. I went to the doctor in december 201 I finished reading this book 2 weeks ago, and feel compelled to review it. A few short months ago i took the steps needed to change my life for the better. I was not happy living how i was, i hated my body, i hated myself, all because i was scared of the truth. That truth is that i am transgender. I admitted to myself that i needed to seek medical help, to rectify my situation, which includes taking hormones and having gender reassignment surgery in the future. I went to the doctor in december 2011, and by march the 19th i had seen a psychiatrist, who is now referring me to the gender identity clinic at charing cross, in london. Progress, yes, but there were still people close to me who know nothing about my intentions of transitioning from male to female. Reading this book however, has given me the courage to face my fears head on. Seconds before coming online to type this i rang my dad and told him i have something to talk to him about, as well as one of my brothers and his wife. Everyone else knows but i was scared to death to tell my dad and brother. I told my mum, her reaction was not good but we have since moved on and she supports me in whatever i decide is best for me. I have wanted to tell my dad about it since december 2011, when i told my mum, my other brothers and their spouses, friends, clients etc, but i put it off because i was fearful of rejection, arguments, possibly even violence, my dad thinks with his fists and not his brain. Now however, i am strong enough emotionally to be able to face him and was able t tell him how i feel, of my intentions to change gender, to live my life as any other woman would. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway is one of those rare books which instantly speak to you, deep inside, on a subconscious level, even reading it makes you feel stronger, more powerful than before. The techniques in this book are simple ones that all of us can use every day of our lives. Susan Jeffers writes brilliantly, clearly and concisely, and is so inspirational that its hard to feel anything but positivity when reading this particular book. I have now told my father i am transgender, and last week i actually went to the dentist to have teeth pulled out. Me! At the dentist! The last time i went was in the mid 90's, and then i freaked out big time, not allowing the dentist to do anything, i was so scared, but 3 days ago i found the strength t get those teeth pulled out, and by jingo i did it. I intend to read this book again and again, and as an added bonus i also have another book by Susan, the little book of confidence, which now goes with me everywhere. If you want to overcome your fears, and if your reading this review, you obviously do, then please buy this book, it is simply sublime, and you will feel divine =) Alexandra ★

  8. 5 out of 5

    Marthad

    في الحقيقة تقييم لن يكون دقيقاً، لكني على كل حال سأكتب تجربتي الشخصية معه. الكتاب جيد وغير جيد. غير جيِّد لأن المؤلفة ذكرت أن حل مشكلة الخوف ليس لازماً أن نعود إلى جذورها التي كونتها. وشخصياً، أعتقد أن هذا إلى حد ما غير دقيق، أو يحتاج إلى تدقيق. لأنه كما ذكرت في غيرما كتاب أن أكثر مشاكلنا اليوم هي نتاج طفولتنا. النقطة الأولى: بشكل شخصي أحببت الكتب التي تبدأ في حل المشكلة من أساسها بدلا من إعطاء أساليب وعلاجات لمعالجة الأعراض symptomatic treatment وهذه الطريقة يستخدمها ( جون غراي في كتابه ما تشعر به ) في الحقيقة تقييم لن يكون دقيقاً، لكني على كل حال سأكتب تجربتي الشخصية معه. الكتاب جيد وغير جيد. غير جيِّد لأن المؤلفة ذكرت أن حل مشكلة الخوف ليس لازماً أن نعود إلى جذورها التي كونتها. وشخصياً، أعتقد أن هذا إلى حد ما غير دقيق، أو يحتاج إلى تدقيق. لأنه كما ذكرت في غيرما كتاب أن أكثر مشاكلنا اليوم هي نتاج طفولتنا. النقطة الأولى: بشكل شخصي أحببت الكتب التي تبدأ في حل المشكلة من أساسها بدلا من إعطاء أساليب وعلاجات لمعالجة الأعراض symptomatic treatment وهذه الطريقة يستخدمها ( جون غراي في كتابه ما تشعر به ) وَ ( كيث هاريل في طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم ) وغيرهما من الكتب وقال لي أحد الأطباء النفسيين أن كلا الطريقتين مستخدمة، وإن كانوا يتجهون إلى الطريقة الثانية الآن. النقطة الثانية: كثير أو أكثر أفكار الكتاب هي تماماً (١٠٠٪) أفكار كتاب كيث هاريل / طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم، لكن طريقة عرض كيث كانت أفضل. كذلك هناك أساليب شبيهة جداً في كتاب حقاً المريخ والزهرة لجون غراي. حيث كانت تركز سوزان على تغيير طريقة التفكير، والاهتمام بفريق الدعم (أى: الناس المساندين لك)، والاستيقاظ كل يوم بتفاؤل وحماس.. وهذه الأفكار نفسها تماماً في كتاب طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم. وعلى العموم، هي أفكار مشتركة بين كثير من كتب التطوير، لذلك رأيي أن يقرأ الشخص كتاب طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم ويريح نفسه. النقطة الثالثة: الطبعة التي لدي قديمة ( صدرت عام ٢٠٠٥ ) لذلك بها أخطاء إملائية جعلتني أقرأ بعض الجمل مراراً وتكراراً. ومع ذلك: لا أخفي أني استفدتُ من بعض النقاط استفادات كبيرة جدا جداً، فكل الانتقادات السابقة لا تعني أن الكتاب لا يصلح للقراءة ( وحسب اطلاعي لا يوجد كتب كثيرة أصلاً عن هذا الموضوع )، لكن هي كما ذكرت تجربة. على غير عادة كثير من الكتب، أروع الفصول عندي كان هو الفصل الأخير، يعني كان تقريباً خلاصة الكتاب، تمنيت لو كل الكتاب كتب بروح هذا الفصل وجماله. تجربتي مع د. سوزان جيفزي لم تكن محفزة ١٠٠٪، لكنها مع ذلك لم تكن مثبطة ١٠٠٪، وآمل أن أبدأ بقراءة كتابها الثاني: احتضان المجهول، فربنا يكون أفضل من أخيه.

  9. 4 out of 5

    mary

    Γενικά δεν μου αρέσει να διαβάζω βιβλία ψυχολογίας και αυτοβοήθειας γιατί όσες φορές το έχω επιχειρήσει βρήκα τον τρόπο με τον οποίο απευθύνονται οι ψυχολόγοι και οι σύμβουλοι στο αναγνωστικό κοινό, πολύ δεσποτικό και απότομο που το μόνο που καταφέρνει είναι να σε κάνει να αισθανθείς ακόμη πιο άσχημα. Ωστόσο η Sysan Jeffers διαφέρει μιας και γενικά έχει σε όλο το βιβλίο μια πολύ θετική στάση και προσπαθεί να ενισχύσει με κάθε τρόπο τους αναγνώστες.Βέβαια με πολλά από αυτά που λέει δεν συμφωνώ όπ Γενικά δεν μου αρέσει να διαβάζω βιβλία ψυχολογίας και αυτοβοήθειας γιατί όσες φορές το έχω επιχειρήσει βρήκα τον τρόπο με τον οποίο απευθύνονται οι ψυχολόγοι και οι σύμβουλοι στο αναγνωστικό κοινό, πολύ δεσποτικό και απότομο που το μόνο που καταφέρνει είναι να σε κάνει να αισθανθείς ακόμη πιο άσχημα. Ωστόσο η Sysan Jeffers διαφέρει μιας και γενικά έχει σε όλο το βιβλίο μια πολύ θετική στάση και προσπαθεί να ενισχύσει με κάθε τρόπο τους αναγνώστες.Βέβαια με πολλά από αυτά που λέει δεν συμφωνώ όπως ας πούμε ότι εμείς αποκλειστικά φέρουμε την ευθύνη και τον έλεγχο για ότι συμβαίνει στη ζωή μας αλλά δεν πρέπει να αισθανόμαστε άσχημα με τα λάθη μας και ότι μόνο αν συγχωρήσουμε όλους τους ανθρώπους ακόμη και αυτούς που μας έχουν κάνει το μέγιστο κακό θα μπορούμε να πάμε παρακάτω στη ζωή μας και να εξελιχθούμε.Δεν είναι άσχημα αυτά που λέει απλά λίγο αδύνατο να εφαρμοστούν μιας και οι περισσότεροι άνθρωποι δεν έχουν ούτε αυτή την ωριμότητα, ούτε αυτό το μεγαλείο ψυχής, ούτε την αυτοπεποίθηση που χρειάζεται για να το κάνουν. Από την άλλη υπήρχαν κάποια κομμάτια του βιβλίου που με βοήθησαν και με ενθάρρυναν ιδιαίτερα ειδικά το κεφάλαιο που αφορά τη λήψη αποφάσεων, τα διλήμματα και τις σωστές επιλογές το βρήκα πολύ εμψυχωτικό όπως και τους τρόπους που προτείνει για την αντιμετώπιση της αρνητικότητας και τους στόχους που βάζει κανείς στη ζωή. Συνολικά θα έλεγα πως μου άρεσαν οι συμβουλές που προσπαθεί να δώσει μέσω του βιβλίου και τα μηνύματα που θέλει να περάσει απλά θεωρώ πως είναι πολύ δύσκολο να εφαρμοστούν στον σύγχρονο και αγχωτικό τρόπο ζωής και θέλει μακρόχρονη προσπάθεια που μπορεί να έχει και τα αντίθετα αποτελέσματα δηλαδή να φθείρει κάποιον συναισθηματικά.Επίσης το να είσαι τόσο θετικός και δοτικός μπορεί εν τέλει να δημιουργήσει στους άλλους την εικόνα του θύματος για το πρόσωπο σου. Πάντως το βιβλίο σίγουρα έχει ως στόχο να βοηθήσει και να εμψυχώσει,σε καμιά περίπτωση να επικρίνει και να κατηγορήσει κάτι που το εκτιμώ πολύ.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Lucinda

    The only way to conquer fear is to face it! In life, we encounter many trials and tribulations (these may be internal or literal realities) yet the only way to overcome our struggles is to be ‘a tryer’ and try until you overcome the obstacle. There is never a more perfect time than when you’re broken and hit rock bottom, than to give it a crack [uncertain and expectant of failure] is the only way. Whilst reading this illuminating, informative book I thought about – how everyone seems to judge th The only way to conquer fear is to face it! In life, we encounter many trials and tribulations (these may be internal or literal realities) yet the only way to overcome our struggles is to be ‘a tryer’ and try until you overcome the obstacle. There is never a more perfect time than when you’re broken and hit rock bottom, than to give it a crack [uncertain and expectant of failure] is the only way. Whilst reading this illuminating, informative book I thought about – how everyone seems to judge things on the literal/ what they ‘see’.. Not everything is as it seems. It is so easy to assume or pre-judge (which leads to bitterness or twisted notions). People seem to care so much about others and their appearance/ attitudes/ reactions and actions on face value.. But what about those sparkling facets that dwell beneath the surface? Someone may seem grumpy with you – but is it you or are they suffering inside? You may be scared shitless about something [ie. Public speaking for instance], yet sometimes ‘faking it till you make it’ is the next best thing, until you gain more confidence in yourself that actually everything will be okay. Life is too short to dwell in jealousy, bitterness, resentment, insecure of self, assumptions of negative impressions etc.. My Christian faith has always guided me, even when I’ve fallen into the abyss and lingered in loneliness. I truly believe that courage takes time and you have to stop worrying what others might say/ think etc. Remember you’re not alone, for there is a kingdom of invisible spirits all around you, guarding over you *Quote Jane Eyre/ religious connotations/ or in reality – other people* Life is for loving Nothing is as bad as it seems and if you keep on endeavouring to learn, grow, experience, learn from lessons and mistakes, be honest and if something doesn’t work out then don’t dwell in darkness and animosity – be HAPPY cause’ life is special, precious and full of memories.. the good, the bad, the tough, the unforgettable and the wondrous!!

  11. 5 out of 5

    Ashley

    A friend of mine recommended this book to me and at first I was a bit skeptical but fell in love after the first 10 pages. It seems to cover every issue you come across without actually pinpointing one certain issue. It's a good book to fall back on as a quick picker-upper if you're having a bad day or just feel discouraged. It's helped with my personal life alot and it's something I'm sure to have memorized within the next 10 years.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Tilda

    I'd call it a bag of pebbles and pearls. Some stuff a bit overly simplistic and unrealistic, but some real pearls of wisdom as well. It goes beyond the subject of "fear" and encourages a positive attitude and lifestyle in general. As I mentioned in an earlier review, I'm not a fan of affirmations, and I believe that the underlying problem should be addressed, not masked. And I think her expectations for people to choose to feel positive even under the most dire circumstances (e.g. bereavement or I'd call it a bag of pebbles and pearls. Some stuff a bit overly simplistic and unrealistic, but some real pearls of wisdom as well. It goes beyond the subject of "fear" and encourages a positive attitude and lifestyle in general. As I mentioned in an earlier review, I'm not a fan of affirmations, and I believe that the underlying problem should be addressed, not masked. And I think her expectations for people to choose to feel positive even under the most dire circumstances (e.g. bereavement or cancer) is a bit severe and unforgiving. Some people need longer than others to heal emotionally from such traumatic experiences. I agree that we must own responsibility for our emotions, but it isn't always as straightforward to choose to feel positive, as the author seems to imply. Nevertheless, I did find myself quoting parts of the book to other people whilst reading it, so obviously I found several parts to offer helpful advice. The chapter about how to cope with family members and friends who are trying to hold you back during your self-growth is very helpful, as well as other topics that she covers. I'd say that the 2nd half of the book is excellent but the first half, a bit simplistic. Like I said, pebbles and pearls, but worth it for the pearls considering that it is such an easy read.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Nick

    Sir Ken Thompson recommended this book in his, The Element. I picked it up with some trepidation, because the whole idea sounded so simple. But it's a top-notch self-help book, about a whole lot more than just fear. Jeffers covers the whole waterfront of ineffectual behavior and patiently tells you how to stop it and replace it with better behavior. If you're stuck at any point with fears, resentments, bottled up anger, and so on, this book will help (if you let it).

  14. 4 out of 5

    Rebecca Foster

    Originally published in 1987, this self-help classic was reissued in a 25th anniversary edition in 2012. I looked over it for a proposed comparison article with How to Win Friends and Influence People (later cancelled, alas) and found this one to be more relevant and readable. Jeffers says that at the base of every fear is a belief that “I can’t handle it.” Our fears are either of things that can happen to us (ageing and natural disasters) or of actions we might take (going back to school or c Originally published in 1987, this self-help classic was reissued in a 25th anniversary edition in 2012. I looked over it for a proposed comparison article with How to Win Friends and Influence People (later cancelled, alas) and found this one to be more relevant and readable. Jeffers says that at the base of every fear is a belief that “I can’t handle it.” Our fears are either of things that can happen to us (ageing and natural disasters) or of actions we might take (going back to school or changing jobs). The only way to increase your trust in your ability to handle things is to go out and do it. Everyone is afraid in new situations, but you can choose to hold fear with either pain (leading to paralysis) or power (leading to action). Jeffers recommends reciting affirmations and changing your vocabulary to be less negative. A positive attitude needs constant reinforcement. This is a very reader-friendly book: the take-home messages are set out in capital letters and each chapter ends with a summary of the main principles and a testimonial letter (in my copy, mostly UK-specific). There are also case studies as well as anecdotes from the author’s own life – she has survived divorce and cancer. The most helpful thing of all to me was the “Whole Life” grid of nine elements: work, relationship, family, friends, hobbies, leisure time, alone time, personal/spiritual growth and giving back (e.g. volunteerism). Give yourself 100% to each one, Jeffers advises, and set goals or to-do list items related to each one.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Elicia

    A great book for everyone even if you don't think the title applies to you. Sometimes the only way to overcome the fear and feel better about yourself is to just go out and do it. But it also talks about taking more control of your life instead of indecision ruling because of being afraid of making mistakes. Tells you how to move from a position of pain ("It's not my fault, I'm never satisfied, It's terrible") to one of power ("I'm totally responsible, I want to learn and grow, It's a learning e A great book for everyone even if you don't think the title applies to you. Sometimes the only way to overcome the fear and feel better about yourself is to just go out and do it. But it also talks about taking more control of your life instead of indecision ruling because of being afraid of making mistakes. Tells you how to move from a position of pain ("It's not my fault, I'm never satisfied, It's terrible") to one of power ("I'm totally responsible, I want to learn and grow, It's a learning experience"). Making your life well-rounded and "whole". Basically just having a great attitude and how that changes everything. Some of it reminded me very much of "The Secret".

  16. 4 out of 5

    Pam Burzynski

    A self-help book addict, I've read a ton of them and was pleasantly surprised and "fearless" by the time I finished Feel the Fear.... Hoping for solutions or a "how to" to let go of or conquer "a" fear, I realized this book was much bigger than "a" fear. You will be relieved to know that Jeffers does not believe that our fears are psychological--phew! Rather she believes our fears are, in most cases, an educational problem, and her book is loaded with ways to help us reeducate our mind. Not heavy, A self-help book addict, I've read a ton of them and was pleasantly surprised and "fearless" by the time I finished Feel the Fear.... Hoping for solutions or a "how to" to let go of or conquer "a" fear, I realized this book was much bigger than "a" fear. You will be relieved to know that Jeffers does not believe that our fears are psychological--phew! Rather she believes our fears are, in most cases, an educational problem, and her book is loaded with ways to help us reeducate our mind. Not heavy, but practical Jeffers puts a lot of focus on saying, "Yes", seeing the possibilities for change and growth, and choosing love and trust. It's all about committing to and learning how to push through the fears and becoming more than you are, because as Jeffers points out "so much of the joy in life is the challenge of figuring it all out".

  17. 5 out of 5

    Jessica

    Susan Jeffers has a lot of sound, practical advice for taking the step to overcome the nagging fears that are standing in the way of getting to the places you want to be in your life and career. The first year I was teaching at a university I was really nervous and anxious whenever I stepped into the classroom. I loved what I was doing, but hated not being an expert with years of experience yet. What if a student asked me a question I didn't know the answer to? I used to read a little bit of thi Susan Jeffers has a lot of sound, practical advice for taking the step to overcome the nagging fears that are standing in the way of getting to the places you want to be in your life and career. The first year I was teaching at a university I was really nervous and anxious whenever I stepped into the classroom. I loved what I was doing, but hated not being an expert with years of experience yet. What if a student asked me a question I didn't know the answer to? I used to read a little bit of this book every morning in the car before going in to class to psych me up. It was good to have a reminder that I could handle whatever situation I was placed in, even if it was new and unfamiliar.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Emily

    Great book, it was an easy, quick read. I actually read it a few times. The author brings up some good points on how we see fear. How even as children we are told to "be careful" and we see an optimist as a Pollyana and their positive view as unrealistic even though most of our fears of negative things never actually happens. The author gives you a few strategies to try to keep out of the negative/fearful mindset and gives great examples of how she overcame her fears.

  19. 4 out of 5

    T.L. Clark

    This book truly changed my life. I read it whilst training to be a counsellor, and it impacted me greatly. Many years on I still hear this phrase when faced with a new and/or daunting situation. Truly one of the best books I ever read. I have become a fiercely independent woman, and I have to thank in part, this gem of a book.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Inga Pizāne

    Savā ziņā grāmata ir kā mierinājums, ka bailes ir visiem. Neviens nav gatavs pārmaiņām vai kaut kam jaunam, neizjūtot bailes vai šaubas. Bet, ļaujoties tam, no kā mēs baidāmies, tā, pirmkārt, ir iespēja paplašināt savu komforta zonu (jo šaurāka tā ir, jo vairāk baiļu mums ir) un, otrkārt, tā ir iespēja pārvarēt bailes. Jā, bailes var pārvarēt tikai, izdarot to, no kā baidāmies. Plašāka atsauksme blogā: http://pl-inga.blogspot.com/2017/06/p...

  21. 5 out of 5

    JChipol

    "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. " Erica Jong One of my favourite quotes of all time sums up what this book is trying to say; basically we cannot blame situations around us for the state of our own lives. This book brings up some very interesting thoughts; we are in control of our own attitudes and decisions. We may not be able to control the hand that life has dealt us, but we certainly are in control with what decisions we make in order to "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. " Erica Jong One of my favourite quotes of all time sums up what this book is trying to say; basically we cannot blame situations around us for the state of our own lives. This book brings up some very interesting thoughts; we are in control of our own attitudes and decisions. We may not be able to control the hand that life has dealt us, but we certainly are in control with what decisions we make in order to be successful with the challenges that we face. This book does make a lot of sense; but as an English person you first have to get over the 'American' style of writing. Naturally more reserved and possibly more inclined to be negative and cynical, it is sometimes difficult to just open up the mind, without the little voice of mocking. Jeffers is right; why do we think that a negative attitude is more 'reality' than a positive one that believes that it will be ok? To quote Henry Ford, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Or as Buddha once said, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought." Jeffers highlights that all we have to do in life to change our world is change the way we view it; when others upset us it is not necessarily their fault, but rather our reactions to them. Even not taking a risk is a decision, so why do we stay with the partner who makes us unhappy? It is usually because we gain something from it. If we are alwayscomplaining of illness, is that because we gain sympathy and attention? Jeffers accepts that as someone who suffered cancer, she did not choose to become ill, but how she decided to react as a consequence was entirely her doing. Jeffers is an inspiration, however, my only issue is that she quotes herself in her own book - and although that is her inner strength, my reaction to it was a very English one; I thought it was just a touch arrogant.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Haneen Najeh

    "How many times you wanted to do sth but you stopped yourself because you were afraid?" The book has started with this sentence. I can say that I learned a lot from this book; one and the most important thing that I learned is that to feel fear and do it anyway. When I read the subject of the book at the first time I excepted it be good and good it was. We used to think that feeling fear is a good reason to not do sth BUT it hasn't to be this way. Suzan is is speaking about fear and it's kinds. "How many times you wanted to do sth but you stopped yourself because you were afraid?" The book has started with this sentence. I can say that I learned a lot from this book; one and the most important thing that I learned is that to feel fear and do it anyway. When I read the subject of the book at the first time I excepted it be good and good it was. We used to think that feeling fear is a good reason to not do sth BUT it hasn't to be this way. Suzan is is speaking about fear and it's kinds. She also wondering about what would make us afraid when we knew that we are ganna handle anything life brings to us?! NOTHING Therefore, the magical words for the book were: "I will handle it." Moreover, Suzan shard some of the truths that she learned about fear during her experiences. Here is some of them: 1) fear isn't ganna go a way as we continuo growing. She looked at this as a positive thing that helps to face fear. 2) the only way to get rid of fear is to go put and do what we are afraid of doing. 3) the only thing that ganna make you feel good about yourself is to go out and do it; NOT wait to get rid of fear to do it. 4) which is the most important to know is not only you feel fear when you are in a new situation EVERYBODY is. The book speaks about taking responsibly and the correct definition of it. In conclusion, turn your fear into confidence and your decision into act. Feel fear and do it anyway. ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS loved it

  23. 4 out of 5

    Alana Muir

    It was a good book that reinforced a lot of the ideas I've been given in both individual and group therapy, and I'd recommend it to anyone with anxiety. The one complaint I have is that the author has some very irritating attitudes towards disability and chronic illness. In more than one anecdote, she implies that a patient was faking or making up an illness and once they adopted a positive attitude, all their symptoms disappeared. For people with chronic illness, we already face doctors and pee It was a good book that reinforced a lot of the ideas I've been given in both individual and group therapy, and I'd recommend it to anyone with anxiety. The one complaint I have is that the author has some very irritating attitudes towards disability and chronic illness. In more than one anecdote, she implies that a patient was faking or making up an illness and once they adopted a positive attitude, all their symptoms disappeared. For people with chronic illness, we already face doctors and peers telling us we're just hypochondriacs and it's all mental. Having a positive attitude can help deal with illness and disability, but it is not a magical cure for real physical illnesses and disabilities, and those anecdotes felt dismissive and insulting.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Ahmad

    هر وقت کتابی میخونم که نقطه ی عطفی میشه شگفت زده میشم. دنبال بهانه میگردم که هرطور شده به هر کی میشناسم معرفی اش کنم. نکته اینه که تعداد این کتاب های شگفتی آفرین هر روز بیشتر و بیشتر میشه و از جذابیتشون ذره ای کم نمیشه یا تکراری نمیشن انگار همشون شاهکاران یکی شاهکار ادبیات و دیگری شاهکار موسیقی ... وقتی میخوام بیام اینجا ازشون تعریف کنم میمونم چی بگم آیا همون حرفهای قبلی تکرار کنم که حتما این کتاب بخونین، میتونین با این کتاب تو زندگیتون شگفتی بیافرینین...یا با این کتاب و عمل به اون میتونین شادی هر وقت کتابی میخونم که نقطه ی عطفی میشه شگفت زده میشم. دنبال بهانه میگردم که هرطور شده به هر کی میشناسم معرفی اش کنم. نکته اینه که تعداد این کتاب های شگفتی آفرین هر روز بیشتر و بیشتر میشه و از جذابیتشون ذره ای کم نمیشه یا تکراری نمیشن انگار همشون شاهکاران یکی شاهکار ادبیات و دیگری شاهکار موسیقی ... وقتی میخوام بیام اینجا ازشون تعریف کنم میمونم چی بگم آیا همون حرفهای قبلی تکرار کنم که حتما این کتاب بخونین، میتونین با این کتاب تو زندگیتون شگفتی بیافرینین...یا با این کتاب و عمل به اون میتونین شادی رو توزندگی خودتون تضمین کنین... همه ی اینها هی داره تکرار میشه. جان کلام، این کتاب خیلی دوست دارم و امیدوارم آدم های بیشتری این کتاب بخونن و ازش استفاده کنن.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Kirsty Watts

    It took me a while to get into it but once i'd gotten through half and i started taking on the advice, I felt so much more positive as-well as calm. I definitely underestimated how this book could simply explain basic instructions that drastically reduced my day to day anxiety and depression. Its helped me to learn how to maintain good mental health. I feel more optimistic, more grounded and overall I was pleasantly surprised by how powerful this book was for me. I would certainly recommend this It took me a while to get into it but once i'd gotten through half and i started taking on the advice, I felt so much more positive as-well as calm. I definitely underestimated how this book could simply explain basic instructions that drastically reduced my day to day anxiety and depression. Its helped me to learn how to maintain good mental health. I feel more optimistic, more grounded and overall I was pleasantly surprised by how powerful this book was for me. I would certainly recommend this to anybody with an open mind who would like a little insight into building up their skills, confidence and learn better how to enjoy life! :)

  26. 5 out of 5

    Richard

    This is one of the most popular and often recommended self-development books on the market and it is easy to see why. Author Susan Jeffers offers up a very easy read that makes a lot of sense, helping the reader to understand why many of the common fears that hold us back from living our lives are, in reality, irrational and that we can re-program our minds to overcome this irrationality and live full, productive and rewarding lives. I found this book an easy read with every chapter hitting home This is one of the most popular and often recommended self-development books on the market and it is easy to see why. Author Susan Jeffers offers up a very easy read that makes a lot of sense, helping the reader to understand why many of the common fears that hold us back from living our lives are, in reality, irrational and that we can re-program our minds to overcome this irrationality and live full, productive and rewarding lives. I found this book an easy read with every chapter hitting home with practical advice.

  27. 4 out of 5

    NancyJ

    I first read Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway when I was a young manager, and it made a big difference in how I approached my life and career. I still refer to key points in the book when coaching leaders, students, and anyone facing a change in their life. Susan Jeffers was teaching about crucial aspects of emotional intelligence before Goleman's book popularized the term.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Stacey Rice

    Stumbled up on this book some years ago and was glad I picked it up. It helped me get past the fear of sitting down and talking about business with individuals I didn't know. This book is a real eye opener, deserves a re-read.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Steve Daykin

    This offers several psychological tools that help deal with small and large fears or anxieties

  30. 5 out of 5

    Suzie

    Can everyone do themselves a favour and read this book...thankyouplease!

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